Thursday, March 27, 2014

Devastating Effects of Cutting Too Many Trees



Look what happens when we cut down too many trees. 

Global warming is one thing, but see below and look at what
might happen if we continue to clear our forests! 

We have to stop cutting down trees!     This is getting serious!


The Hobo
A hobo (wanderer) comes up to the front door of a neat looking farmhouse and raps gently on the door. When the farm owner answers, the hobo asks him, "Please, sir, could you give me something to eat? I haven't had a good meal in several days." The owner says, "I have made a fortune in my lifetime by supplying goods for people. I've never given anything away for nothing. However, if you go around the back, you will see a gallon of paint and a clean paint brush. If you will paint my porch in the back of the house, I will give you a good meal." So the hobo goes around back and a while later he again knocks on the door. The owner asks, "Finished already? Good. Come on in. Sit down. The cook will bring your meal right in." The hobo says, "Thank you very much, sir. But there's something that I think you should know. It's not a Porsche you got there. It's a BMW.."

The Parking Ticket

Working people frequently ask us retired people what we do to make our days interesting.
Well, for example, just the other day my wife and I went into town and visited a shop.
When we came out, there was a Metermaid writing out a parking ticket.

We went up to him and I said, 'Come on, man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?'
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket.
I called him an a--hole . He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn-out tyres.

So Sadie called him a s--t head.
He finished the second ticket and put it on the windscreen with the first.
Then he started writing more tickets.
This went on for about 20 minutes.
The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

Just then our bus arrived, and we got on it and went home.
We weren't too concerned about the vehicle's owner because of the sticker on the back window
"I support Muslims."

We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It's important at our age.

Monday, March 17, 2014

This made me feel a wee bit better about my computer skills!




This made me feel a wee bit better about my computer skills!




  Tech  support:    
What kind of computer do you have?
Customer:    A  white one...
Tech  support:    Click  on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer:    Your left or my left?
****************************

 
Customer:    Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find  printer'.  I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it..
****************************

 
Tech  support:    What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer:    A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
****************************
Customer:   My keyboard  is not working anymore.
Tech  support:   Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer:   No. I can't  get behind the computer.
Tech  support:    Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: !   OK
Tech support:   Did the  keyboard come with you?
Customer:  Yes
Tech support:   That means the keyboard  is not plugged in.
****************************
Customer:   I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: 
   Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer:   Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech  support:    Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer:   Five dots.
****************************
Tech  support:    What  anti-virus program do you use?
Customer:   Netscape.
Tech support:   That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer:   Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer..
****************************
Customer:     I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
****************************
Tech support:    How may I help you?
Customer:   I'm writing my first email.
Tech support:    OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer:   Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it?
****************************
This one and the next are our personal favorites!
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support:   Are you running it under windows?
Customer:   'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.'
****************************
And last but not least!
Tech  support: 'Okay Bob, let's  press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.'
Customer:   I don't have a P.
Tech  support:   On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer:   What do you mean?
Tech support:   'P'.....on  your keyboard, Bob.
Customer:   I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT! 

My Very Last Word


Sunday, March 16, 2014

Cooper Let’s His Friend Eat Ice Cream First…

Cooper Let’s His Friend Eat Ice Cream First… And Being Polite Pays Off!

Friday Fun-day is a regular occurrence in Cooper’s home, and even his friends get to join in from time to time! They LOVE their ice cream, especially Cooper. Cooper loves it SO much that he knows it’s only best to let his friends go first in getting a taste. His politeness pays off, so keep your eye on him! Any guesses to what happens? :) Find out:
SHARE this if you didn’t see that ending coming!











Cooper Let’s His Friend Eat Ice Cream First… And Being Polite Pays Off!


Friday Fun-day is a regular occurrence in Cooper’s home, and even his friends get to join in from time to time! They LOVE their ice cream, especially Cooper. Cooper loves it SO much that he knows it’s only best to let his friends go first in getting a taste. His politeness pays off, so keep your eye on him! Any guesses to what happens? :) Find out:

SHARE this if you didn’t see that ending coming!


Read more at http://theilovedogssite.com/cooper-lets-his-friend-eat-ice-cream-first-and-being-polite-pays-off/#o8ZxgKgcC1yoquM6.99





Cooper Let’s His Friend Eat Ice Cream First… And Being Polite Pays Off!


Friday Fun-day is a regular occurrence in Cooper’s home, and even his friends get to join in from time to time! They LOVE their ice cream, especially Cooper. Cooper loves it SO much that he knows it’s only best to let his friends go first in getting a taste. His politeness pays off, so keep your eye on him! Any guesses to what happens? :) Find out:

SHARE this if you didn’t see that ending coming!


Read more at http://theilovedogssite.com/cooper-lets-his-friend-eat-ice-cream-first-and-being-polite-pays-off/#o8ZxgKgcC1yoquM6.99